Alex and Scott like Burgers a lot.

Garbage Plate - Burgers Minus the Bun but with Added Carbohydrate Goodness

2006-09-17T20:38:55Z

Gitsis Cheeseburger Plate
Originally uploaded by somethingsflesh.

Scott and I started off our eastern/American dwelling with this monstrosity - the Gitsis (Garbage) Plate. Deliciously disgusting. Scott claims it is like a White Castle burger (onions and mustard) which led me to ponder it's origin. Although it has no bun, the two sides (mac salad and potatoes) sandwiched the meat sauce covered meat patties perfectly. The mustard added just a tinge of tang, and the onions a crunchy goodness. Although I still feel ill, I have a feeling I will be craving this burger-like demon!

Fatburger Powow

2006-05-16T19:39:53Z

Fatburger Powow
Originally uploaded by somethingsflesh.

Eating at Fatburger. Scott said his last experience there wasn't the best but we soldiered on and it was pretty alright. They even had fresh lemon slices for your pop! But they have eliminated the skinny/fat fry distinction and now just have a medium sized cut. Not cool! Soon, on to bigger and grosser burger stuff....

sweet burger

2006-02-14T18:06:09Z

sweet burger
Originally uploaded by somethingsflesh.

Fake burgers for men who don't like eating cake! Bizarre.
http://www.treehugger.com/files/2006/01/trends_in_japan.php

Oh dear god. In-N-Out Burgerphilia.

2006-02-05T05:53:59Z

http://whatupwilly.blogspot.com/2006/01/in-n-out-100x100.html

100 patties. Those people are crazy. Or are they? Too bad there isn't an In-N-Out in Vancouver. Another burger roadtrip that we should be working on?

Moderne Burger and sauce

2006-02-05T02:42:01Z

Moderne Burger and sauce
Originally uploaded by somethingsflesh.

The Moderne Burger is not as good as it used to be. Don't get us wrong, it's still fantastic, but it was just missing something. The beverages were still good, though. Scott almost got a malted milkshake. Imagine! No cherry coke!

Ground Meat Cookery

2006-01-16T04:16:10Z

Ground Meat Cookery
Originally uploaded by somethingsflesh.

This is hilarious. Burgers are for lovers! I especially like the fetching (and narcissistic) cow.

Gawdy Borger

2006-01-03T00:47:41Z

Gawdy Borger
Originally uploaded by somethingsflesh.

It looks like a burger massacre. I have no clue what to store in it.

Good Old Fashioned Family Vehicular Fun! Peter's Drive - In

2006-01-02T21:24:00Z

Our Trip to Peter's...Scott's Review coming soon.

Alex's Review...
Although I have a myriad of things I should be doing, none is calling me as much as this burger review. So here it goes.

In the spirit of all that is holy about calgary, Scott and I headed to Peter's Drive-In, a local favourite for god knows what reason (likely just the fact that everyone likes it and it's been around so long, typical reasons for anything being popular I suppose). I often went there in high school for a shake and some mammoth onion rings, which we would either eat at the smattering of picnic tables lining the parking lot and small patch of grass next to the highway, or which would take to nearby Riley Park. Oh, those were the days. And those remain to be the days because nothing seems to have changed with Peter's (although we have heard it was bought by somebody else, but who knows). Its future is uncertain - because of the expansion of the TransCanada Highway (16th Ave North in Calgary), the damn institution might be torn down! What are all those out of town football fans going to do when they come into or leave this fair city? Either way, Scott and I figured that for our time in Calgary together it would be best to go somewhere typical, even though there was apparently an ecoli outbreak a few years ago and it had to be shut down. I like a little gamble.

Now, Scott will tell you that he is not a Peter's fan, however he agreed to approach the place with a clean slate in the interest of our project. I had always enjoyed Peter's for what it was - cheap, quick, greasy, gut wrenching. We both ordered a full meal - I got a chocolate shake, onion rings and fries to share and a single cheese burger. We decided to go up to the window and order instead of doing the drive through thing, and we got a little confused by the line-up system, but eventually we soldiered to the front and ordered our food, They take cash only, and all I had on me was a 50, but luckily at Peter's, they take large bills (they even have a little machine they slide them through! Oh my!). Our server was nice enough, and wrote our order on this cardboard box, instead of wasting paper, and also to make it easy to figure out whose order was whose. What geniuses these Peter's people are! She was also donning a fetching nurse's uniform, complete with head covering, like all the other employees here. "It's a Burger OR! It's Burger Operation Time!" exclaimed Scott, and he did have a point, what with all that tile and stainless steel, and odd conveyor belt grill thing and vats of strange condiments that definitely resembled something bodily. Even the milkshake makers looked like gigantic dialysis machines! Mmmm...milkshake straight into the bloodstream. We were faced with a dilemma after procuring our food, however; where to eat? The weather in Calgary had taken a turn for the cold, so even though the barren, detritus strewn picnic tables were appealing, we retired to Scott's parent's car and ate in the backseat. It's too bad it wasn't a nicer day, but this seemed to be the favoured way of consuming the Peter's; the parking lot was full of people doing the same, and we should trust the locals, despite their poor fashion sense and cattle like mentality. Has this former Calgarian become a snob towards her former fellow citizens? You bet I have, but that's what happens. I'm still willing to indulge in the local culinary scene.

I'll begin with an anecdote about the milkshake. I must admit, I had ventured to Peter's a couple days earlier. After purchasing a few IPod's, and eating some Thai food, a few members of my family decided they had to cap of this day of obscenity with an obscene beverage, and so we ventured over to Peter's. My sister is pretty boring (just kidding!) so she just wanted vanilla, her boyfriend Derek got his usual marshmallow, and my uncle had a tough time deciding (I don't blame him, they have a lot of flavours). It was brought to our attention by Derek that you can add up to three flavours to your milkshake, making the decision process even worse for the family who can't decide. We figured that this must mean they put a third of each flavour into the shake, and therefore it might be possible to order one that would be two thirds one flavour and one third another. So my uncle, having a slight craving for chocolate, decided to ask for one third chocolate, two thirds vanilla. We went through the drive through, made this special request into the crazy microphone thing, and got the thumbs up from the lady ahead in the booth. When my uncle got the shake, however, he deemed it unacceptable. "Nu uh, this is definitely half and half." So after this fiasco, I was a little afraid of what the shake might hold for me and ordered plain chocolate. The Peter's shake is really thick, too thick for some. If one has just had one's wisdom teeth out, one should definitely not drink this shake for fear of popping the blood clots. You have to suck really really hard, and I strained my poor little cheeks doing so, but it was still tasty. I must say, it was far less chocolatey than the supposedly diluted one my uncle had, so this was a bit upsetting, but it was acceptable. It wasn't anything too special, but it was a good accompanying beverage and it sure was huge (and cheapish...alberta is so cheap!)

Now onto the burger itself. I ordered a single cheeseburger, but if you know anything about Peter's, it's that they single is actually one patty and a half! Imagine! This is a pretty generous and unique approach, however it makes the burger eating a little mismanaged. At some points I had a surplus of patty, at others, none at all. I went for the typical toppings which are bbq sauce, mustard, relish and onions. The thing about Peter's is that they always put too much relish on, and this is the flavour I always think of when I think of their burgers. Today was no different, and so the relish burger lives on. The bun is of a chewy consistency, slightly toasted, and actually pretty good. It's a little gummy, but it's better than other fast food buns. It did get a little soggy with all the sauce on my burger (see picture of me eating it), but it did a pretty good job. The patties were so so, nothing special but nothing terrible. It wasn't noticeably seasoned, but it was charbroiled. I think what they do is flame them up, then send them down this conveyor belt where they land in a giant vat of bbq sauce (at least that's what it looked like from our vantage point outside the window). I like this idea, because I like a saucy burger, but at the same time it's immensely unappealing...soggy burger. The thickness of the patty was pretty thin, and I seriously doubt that the shape was formed by anything remotely human. Either way, the burger was decent and pretty much what we expected. It wasn't bursting with flavour, but it tasted fresh-ish and flamey and relishy.

The sides were pretty good. I'm always a fan of bad, plain onion rings. These were battered, but not breaded, and likely came from McCain's frozen food (we were tipped off by the giant McCain's logo on the fry and onion ring containers). They were crispy and greasy and oniony and a tad sweet...all those wonderful things that make your mouth and throat feel so funny after eating them. The fries were fine, and Scott kept saying they reminded him of Wendy's. I didn't have too many, but they were definitely frozen prior and only fried once. Meh.

The atmosphere of Peter's...how does one describe it. It has character, and reminds me of what Detroit might be like. On the day we went, the weather was particularly grey, and the roads dusty and gross, so it felt particularly downscale. Lots of concrete, not much greenery, but you can eat in the gravel pits in the parking lot! I especially liked the soundtrack of traffic from the transcanada. I did have fun eating in the back of Scott's parent's car, though. I kept worrying I was going to get stuff on the leather-ish upholstery!

All in all, the Peter's Drive-In experience was as expected - a little bit good, a little bit bad, a little bit disgusting, a little bit destitute. It's definitely not for those of us who don't own a vehicle, but I don't know how many people in Calgary can boast that (apart from my father...but I guess he rides his bicycle there). So grab your SUV and head on down there, especially if you want to feel like you live in 1950s America. Where's the wonder bread?

Alex gives Peter's Drive-In 4 Cardiac Episodes. It's fine. It's not great. Although maybe it should get more cardiac episodes because of the health threat it poses. We'll think about this.

Old Fashioned Family FUN - Peter's Drive-In!

2005-12-29T21:29:01Z

Scott and I went to the Calgary institution, Peter's Drive-In. It was a rollicking good burgeriffic time, however we are too full and too vacationy to write a review for now. So instead, here are some pictures. The proof is in the pudding. And that proof is that Calgary is a dusty, brown, grey depressing city.

To tide us all over...Burger review coming soon, hopefully

2005-09-20T17:20:05Z

LJ Interests meme results

anti-shredded lettuce:
We hate shredded lettuce.
bbq:
We love bbq. Although I have never experienced his talents firsthand, Scott does a mean bbq.
bifteck:
We love bifteck. I especially love bifteck spice mix.
charbroiled:
Ooh. Charbroiled. Makes meat taste cancerous good.
cherry coke:
Nothing better than cherry coke with a burger.
fries:
Nothing better than fries with a cherry coke and a burger
ketchup:
Ketchup is an essential burger topping.
meat:
Can't have a burger without meat. Luckily, this excludes vegetarians from our club
mustard:
Good on burgers, better on smoked meat.
sea salt:
Goes well on fries. And it's pretentious.

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.

That's Hot!

2005-05-26T04:10:18Z

Scott and Alex are in good company. I think this requires a trip down south.

News Post!

2004-09-24T23:09:15Z

This is somewhat related to burgers. It looks good.

Wow! What a Sandwich!

And burger lovers...Here is an article on ketchup (and mustard).

Get a gourmet dictionary for chrissakes!

2004-09-24T22:37:24Z

Harlo Gourmet Burgers
3348 Cambie Street
$10.99 Organic Beef Burger (with fries or salad) $1.25 Extra Toppings

Alex's Review...

Today, Scott and I ventured to Harlo Gourmet Burgers. I figured it would be a good fit, since I consider Scott and I to be of the "gourmet persuasion" (although Scott will argue against this with the fact that he has never eaten foie gras. While this is perhaps a hindrance to his gourmet-ness, we all know that he still wants to eat the damn goose liver and that he shops at the Gourmet Warehouse. Bam!) Well, what I discovered is that anything that bills itself as gourmet probably should be avoided. If one is gourmet, one doesn't need to flaunt it. Gourmet comes with tact.

Even though it is billed as gourmet, the room is anything but. It reminds me of a coffee shop that is trying to be kinda soda shoppe like, but that fails and just looks tacky. It wasn't that bad, just not what one might expect from a Gourmet establishment. Our waiter was certainly not gourmet either (shorts and socks! Oh my!).

I ordered an Organic Beef Burger with cheddar (Organic being one of those tacky attempted gourmet words) with a side of fries and coleslaw, and a Coke. The burger comes with lettuce, tomato, optional onion which is sliced or sauteed (I didn't go for onions, as I still had the fresh memory of the Moderne Onion fiasco in my mind) and house sauce. The house sauce was described as "mayo based with, you know, things like sundried tomatoes". Ding ding ding! Tactless gourmet warning bell! The number one thing that sets this off? The use of sundried tomatoes. I don't mind sundried tomatoes, but come on. They were edgy 15 years ago when California cuisine outside of California was a new trend. Sundried tomatoes do not a gourmet equal. They are not even that expensive anymore (unless you get those Hodgekiss ones). So when I heard the house sauce contained them, I was a bit apprehensive.

The bun looks good. It's smothered in sesame seeds and comes from Ecco il Pane (you know that when the specify where they got their ingredients from that they're trying to be gourmet). I'll eat sesame seeds, but sometimes they just rub me the wrong way, and today was one of those days. Perhaps they weren't toasted. I'm not sure. All I know is that they didn't add anything to the burger experience. The bun consistency was good, springy and light. It was somewhat reminiscent of the Feenieburger bun, but a little less airy and nowhere near the latter's tasty goodness. It was a decent bun.

The patty itself was a little on the flat side, although it was quite large and spread out so it was by no means small. It was a little dry and lacked the juicy goodness of the previous two burgers. My favourite bite was on the crispy outer edge of the burger. The rest of the bites were alright, but I didn't feel overwhelmed with burger tastiness. It was a tad overdone, as well. The texture left a bit to be desired and wasn't quite as juicy, or ground as I would have liked- meaning that it had a uniform texture that mostly just felt like biting into a veggie patty or something like that. I'm not sure how to describe this so I will stop trying. Spicing was minimal, although they did use pepper. It was an alright patty, but it wasn't oozing with juciness. Scott predicted that whatever juciness it had probably came from the melted cheese. There you go.

Toppings were meh. A surplus of thick sliced tomatoes, which I quickly discarded. Lettuce was chopped into smaller pieces, but the quality was still there and it certainly wasn't shredded iceberg. Ingredients were fresh. The cheddar was quite tasty and added a lot to the burger. Both sides of the bun were coated with the housesauce, and I think this really took away from my burger experience. I described it to Scott as tasting chemical or metallic, or at least smelling that way. It wasn't offensive, but I certainly wasn't appetized.

The burger was large, but cutting it in half was easy. There was a bit of slippage, but for the most part it stayed together. There was a severe lack of greasy juice (or juicy grease depending on which way you look at it) making it much easier to eat, but much less tasty. All in all, everything remained in order (making it easy to keep your gourmet meathooks clean). I didn't end up finishing my burger.

The fries were good. Still thick cut, but crispy and lightly salted and peppered. I think I enjoyed the fries more than the burger. The Coke was good as well.

All in all, this burger was just alright. I probably wouldn't go back, unless I was ordering some sort of specialty burger (another sign of the tactless gourmet. However, I am a huge fan of anything with turkey, stuffing, gravy and cranberry all under one bun!). On top of this, the burger prices were certainly extravagantly gourmet. You can get better for cheaper, or insanely better for the same price. Like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman", this burger tried to be gourmet, but it still tasted like a prostitute. Hmm. Or a better analogy: This burger tried to speak the gourmet language, but I couldn't understand it through it's obnoxious accent.

Scott and Alex disagree on the burger quality this week so a seperate rating system will be instituted. Alex gives the burger a pitiful 4 CARDIAC EPISODES. Boourns.

Scott's Review...

I ate a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for dinner today.
I'm having a tough time with the gourmet thing.
Mr. Webster says that a gourmet is "A connoisseur of fine food and drink."
Not satisfied... What is a connoisseur: A person with expert knowledge or training, especially in the fine arts.
A person of informed and discriminating taste.

Hmmmm. Do I have informed and descriminating taste? Descriminating? Yes, unfortunately I can be very.
Informed... We'll get back to that in a bit.

Harlo's went right out and put the damned word on their name- "Gourmet" Burgers.
There is a short list of things in this world I don't like. Pretentious attitude is number one on that list. Sidebar: I learnt this past year that we can be turned off of others that display traits that we least like in ourselves, this is probably an example.
Feenie's is pretentious. Its trendy, its aloof- the whole atmosphere reeks of it. But they backed it up with fantastic food, so good for them.

I went into Harlo's needing to be impressed.
I'll just say the environment was unremarkable since Alex pretty much touched on the right spots in that regard.

I just want to address the food.
The burger was a tough one to manage but I did well, keeping it relatively mess-free and together.
The bun was fantastic, they were right in advertising the bakery since if I was ever to walk by it, I'd probably stop in.
The patty was thinner than I'd expected but well seasoned and not too greasy.
I for one liked the special sauce, it was tangy and complimented the bun on both sides.
There was no need in my burger for tomatoes that thick, they were almost the thickness of the patty!
For me, the burger worked well together and was a solid, beefy good time.

Fries? Mediocre. Cripy and hot, but you know...
I'm a shoestring guy.

So in the final analysis, why would I give this burger a 7?
It does not belong up there with Feenies so dont even think of trying for higher.
It may have been a bad "gourmet" burger, it may not have been worth ten dollars- but as far as *my enjoyment* of it goes- it was right there with Moderne
I am not going to put this burger in the bottom half of our scale, we all have seen the ones that belong there. I hope to god that I wont have to review any burgers that belong down there, but if you want to- your neighbourhood McDees is calling.

Or better yet Peter's Drive-In. :)

Does being better informed than an average joe allow me to be a gourmet?
No I wouldnt call myself one. But you'll still find me watching Good Eats.

Scott gives the Harlo Gourmet Burger a whopping 7 CARDIAC EPISODES. A gourmet rating for a gourmet burger.

Baudelaire of Burgers

2004-09-15T22:38:24Z

Le Moderne Burger
$6.95 just burger ; $8.95 burger platter

Alex's Review...

Although I should be reading right now, the delight of today's Moderne Burger has impassioned me to write a tract on its goodness. Scott picked me up on West Mall and we headed down to Burger Mecca - West Broadway. Moderne Burger is one of my favourite places in which to consume beef patties on buns, and so we went. We were seated in a booth near the kitchen, which provided Scott with a delightful behind the scenes look at the life of a burger flipper. Unfortunately, Scott forgot his camera, so we couldn't document the intrigue.

Moderne Burger is small, but it's portions or not. I opted for a Cherry Coke (as I always do) which arrived with a maraschino in the bottom. I am always a little disappointed at the ice to soda ratio, but what can I say, I really like my soda pop. I also ordered the plain old steak burger with cheddar (classic combo), and skipped the fries. I know this is burger eating blasphemy, but I figured I could just eat some of Scott's taters and save the world some food waste.

The burger arrived garnished with an olive and toothpick. A novel idea, but I'm not a huge fan of black olives. The toothpick might clue one into the fact that this will be difficult to eat. It arrives with two slices of tomatoes, a leaf of romaine lettuce, red onions, mayonnaise and "housesauce'". Upon query, the housesauce was described as "like tomato dressing". Intriguing.

Having eaten at the Moderne Burger before, I knew better than to leave my burger uncut, and so it was parted like the Red Sea, but unlike Moses I wasn't able to keep the Red Sea of housesauce from spilling forth onto my plate. Normally I am quite adept at keeping the burger under wraps, but today the patty decided to dance a torrid tango with its partner bun; slipping here, sliding there; coyly spreading its juices while being repulsed. Messy burger, but it comes with the territory (and metaphoric flourishes).

The bun itself is better than average. It's plain, sans sesame, which suits me just fine. It's also of your typical hamburger bun texture; slightly gummy or doughy, but with a bit of give. Nothing to write home about, but a solid bun. It had some trouble containing the patty, but this could be due to my own human error of cutting it incorrectly. I'm not sure if it was toasted or not, but it may have been. If it was toasted, it was unremarkably so.

The patty was also solid. About an inch think, hand shaped and firm. It didn't have a smooth texture, but rather the grains of meaty goodness coalesced together, as if held by some sort of burger shaped quantum valence, yet never lost its ground nature. Both Scott and I agreed that this is not a greasy, but a JUICY burger. And boy was that juice tasty. The burger itself seems unseasoned, but this would have to be verified with the chef. Either way, the consuming feeling was MEAT. I could have had it cooked a little more rare, but it was generally a good done-ness.

As far as the toppings go, it gets a bit messy. I hate tomatoes so these were quickly discarded. There is no hurting for mayo or housesauce, but I'm a big fan of anything saucy so this is good. The housesauce is creamy but also tart, tomatoe-y but sweet. I like it. Too many red onion slices, but most of these managed to escape their burger home and settle on my plate. The flavours were fairly clean, but as I said, the sauce could be overpowering for some. The other toppings were just kind of there, and although good, didn't add too much to the overall burger experience. This is not necessarily a hinderance, mind you.

The Moderne Burger seems to pride itself on fresh ingredients, and this is fairly clear. The patty was nice and moist, and I'm pretty sure it hadn't been frozen. Of course we ordered judiciously and got the Steak burger, which is probably the most popular patty. They also offer Lamb, Turkey, Salmon and Veggie. We saw one patty go by that looked a little too circular and machine made for us. But, it remains that the Steak patty is quite satisfactory.

As far as fries go, Scott can discuss this more. I only had a few of his, but they were nice and firm, crisp and fresh tasting. I likened it to when you make fries at home and when you bake them in the oven; although not typical, it is still appealing in its own way.

The portions are large, but not too large. I can eat an entire burger and still have room to spare. Service is service, somewhat attentive, and the man who runs the show seems like he has mood swings (plus I think he hates me). It's a nice little, diner-like place and it's cozy for those rainy days when you're craving a good hunk of meat.

Overall, I rather enjoyed this burger, and it remains among my favourites in solid cuisine. Although not the pinnacle of burger perfection, it provides an excellent model for that of everyday eating. I like it, Like a flaneur in 19th century Paris, I enjoy this spectacle. I also enjoy peppering my writing with tedious academic jargon

Scott's Review

Note: For those of you that are wondering, Alex talks like that in real life. Scary.

Good old fashioned fun.
As Alex mentioned, I had the pleasure of being in a seat that let me watch the fries be cut, burgers be made etc.

Truly my favorite part of the short order/diner type environment.

So that there is no misunderstanding, this meal was not in the same catagory as Feenie's. Price, quality and the like were higher at Feenie's.

Is that a bad thing? Not at all. In fact I may go over to Le Moderne after I right this...
I wrote last time about the environment in Feenie's and how I almost felt out of place ordering the burger.If there is a *right* place to order one- its here.
Jukebox, cherry cokes, milkshakes, disgruntled looking cook manning the kitchen (thats right, only one cook heaven forbid!)Even our server (the apparent owner?) was dressed casually (to put it VERY nicely).
I could probably count the number of seats in the place on my hands, the food was messy and decor was awful.

And I loved it, I absolutely did.

Start with the fries. Still not great (I'll throw a party when I find fries as good as mine) but better than Feenies.Same cut, about 1 cm wide. Not double fried but still nicely done, pretty crispy and most importantly- still hot when we got them. I proceeded to douse them in malt vinaigre, salft and pepper casue well- some places need it and the appropriate amount of bottled (yay!) ketchup.
Hell I'd even prefer a McDonalds/McCain julienne over these thicker fries, wake up Vancouver!

I'd like to talk about Weber's. (http://www.webersrestaurants.com/)
On the drive up from Toronto/York Region to Orillia and the Muskokas there was a quick service burger joint called Weber's. Incredibly popular, the line would always be out the door, yet they would take your order in line and then, you would also pay and get your burger quite quickly. Then you would eat in either a retired Via passenger car or on picnic tables. Great fries (where I was first introduced to seasoning salt). They grew, opening (a weaker location) at Toronto Pearson airport and hell even made Schott's Book of Food & Drink Miscellany. (One of two restaurants in Canada to do so) (And no, I am not Schott)

The point being, this burger- in its flame broiled goodness and very soft bun reminded me of Weber's. Thats a pretty big deal. Thats like when Christians say I remind them of Jesus. (Ok, none do, but you get the idea)Weber's is truly burger gold, and for a moment- I was duped into being back in Ontario.

Why did I come back to reality?
Stupid thick cut onions and tomato. They really hit me hard. It was almost as if the burger could exist whitout the patty because of these fat toppings. Hell, it was the primary reason the burger was so messy, very little united amongst toppings- hey toppings! Cooperate!
Next time for sure I'll be having lettuce (non-shredded, yay!), sauces and cheese only.

Is this wise?

Yes, the patty was wickedly tasty! Very little seasoning but juicy enough for me not to care, it actually crave one right now. Truly similar to what I would cook up on the bbq in my backyard in Calgary.

All in all, a great experience at a great price.
I will most definitively be back.

Please note that I decreased the quality of my writing skills to compensate for Alex's academic nerdyism.

Both Alex and Scott agree that Le Moderne Burger receives 7 CARDIAC EPISODES. A solid standing for a solid burger.

Rob Feenie sure knows how to pack his meat.

2004-09-06T23:14:04Z

The Feenie burger.

100% certified Angus beef, served medium with sautéed mushrooms, cheese, bacon, served with fries $12
extras: pan-seared foie gras ($25), beef short ribs ($7), poutine ($3)

Alex's Review...

Having first decided to try Moderne and then finding it closed, Scott and I ventured into Feenie's to try the infamous bistro burger. We weren't disappointed. We went with the plain old Feenie's burger, wanting to leave well enough alone. This was accompanied by a Coke because nothing goes better with a burger than Coke (except if it's of the Cherry variety).

As a prelude, a quartet of sauces (ketchup, some sort of chipotle mayo, some sort of dill mayo and a relish) arrive at your table to keep you salivating (unless of course you're Scott and you are already salivating over the waitress). The burger comes with a cone of fries, and a side pickle. It arrives pre-sliced which is nice for those of us who aren't sure whether or not it's a faux pas to eat your burger in two halves. Each of the halves is held together with a clear piece of plastic, which I mistook for a hairclip. Oh well. That's what you get in the fancy restaurants.

We both agreed that the burger blended harmoniously into a single whole. It came with butterleaf lettuce (which was maybe too delicate a green for this large sandwich), two slices of tomato, red onion, mushrooms, a large piece of what looked to be back bacon, but we weren't quite sure, cheese and what we think was some of the chipotle mayo. No one flavour stood out, although as stated earlier, I hardly noticed the lettuce. This could be a positive, though.

The bun was a sesame bun with the texture of a brioche. I was thoroughly enamoured with this bun, and kept staring at it's airy crumb. "Look! It's just like a brioche". It wasn't sweet, but it sure was crunchy and delicious. My only concern about it's quality was it's ability to contain the burger, which proved to be a problem towards the end.

The patty...How does one describe the perfect patty? Well, almost. It wasn't a transcendental experience, but it sure was delicious. The texture was hamburger-ized and ground but also uniform; meaning that it didn't crumble in the wrong places. It was almost meatloaf-like, which I really liked but it also provided little escape holes for the burger's sauces. It wasn't greasy, but oozed it's own meaty juice (all over everything). This was a bonus and probably helped to contribute to the overall, clean burger taste. I'm not too sure of the spicing but I noticed what looked like chives in the patty. It was spiced, we do know that much, and the spicing was good. This was a delicious patty. Delicious. Normally I'm a purist with the patty (just meat!), but I liked what the old Nob Feenie did with this.

The fries, on the other hand, left something to be desired. We were pleased to see that they were most likely double fried, but both of us were concerned with the size. Frites would seem more apt for this (of course, this could be personal preference). The skins were still on the potato which I like, but the inside was a little too mushy and some of the fries at the bottom were erupting into their own fry massacre. They were lightly salted. Not bad, but not the best. The pickle was also average, but quite green. More like a cornichon. Of the sauces, I liked the chipotle mayo the best, followed in close second by the dill.

Service was fine, but a bit coked out. Scott was quite fond of our waitress and I thought she was alright. I could have gone with the whole fine dining listing of ingredients, but I guess they don't do that with burgers. It felt somewhat blasphemous to be eating such a thing in a nice restaurant and I think I even got some sauce on my shirt. Perhaps we should have eaten it with a knife and fork. At least it made for an interesting experience.

Overall, I liked the burger a whole lot. It was a tad difficult to eat, but after the first few bites it settled itself into manageability. It was quite juicy which was a bit embarassing for me because I felt bad wiping my dirty meathooks on cloth napkins, but I guess that's what they're there for. By the end, the burger sort of collapsed and I left it at that. We also agreed that this burger is a pretty good deal. For $12 I got more than I could eat plus we got to be served by hot people in a hot room. Coupled with the fine dining atmosphere, this makes for cheap chic! We will be going back. I would also like to add that I had the delightful smell of the Feenie Burger on my hands the rest of the day making for wonderful memories.

Scott's Review...

I clearly like eating the burgers more than writing the review so while Alex wrote a very fine review, lets keep in mind that I actually finished my burger...

The atmosphere at Feenies is very chic, maybe even... too chic to order a hamburger, but we endured on our quest.

Starting off with the coke (that I really shouldnt have started before eating). Did they give us a Diet or C2 without telling us? Would they? I was very suspicious as it was lacking in the coke-y goodness that would go so well with my burger and fries meal.

It came cut in half. This was the first "little thing" that impressed me about the Feenieburger. God, I wish that made it easy to eat...

I apparently devoured the first half. There was no surplus of tomato, butter lettuce, mushrooms, bacon or cheese, all the elements worked in unison to create a wonderful balance.

But what flavour! The seasoning of the juicy chuck was outstanding, cooked to a perfect medium, meeting thick cut bacon and the other toppings as if it was their priviledge.

It certainly would have been a let down if the bun had disappointed, and as Alex says it did not. My favorite bun memory was the juice of the patty seeping in and making it soggy on top, but not on the bottom with flavour. Outstanding.

The lamentation of the imperfect french fry...
Yukon potato
Gold in colour, celebrate
Thinner cut, bastard!

It was a thick fry, a Moby Dick (White Rock) or Swiss Chalet cut.
I do like Moby Dick fries let me tell you, but these came off as mediocre.
Granted good sauces can ease the pain, but not the pain of average fries.
Not crisp, though probably double fried, they would have perhaps been better off doused in vinaigre or lemon juice...
But not as the co-star to this meal.

The perfect fry to go with this burger?
Ruth's Chris USA shoestrings, with plenty of S&P and the same sauces.

All in all the wonder of the burger made this an incredibly enjoyable time.
Maybe next time we'll bring our own Cherry Coke (Could we pay a corkage fee? :) )

Both Alex and Scott agree that the Feenie Burger receives 9 CARDIAC EPISODES (although Scott makes clear he does not like to quantify enjoyment). A stellar burger.